Why I Think I Can't Keep Dolls

... So, I'm selling my Zero. I'm really upset about it. I sanded her seams, nipples, eyebrows, and did a lot of work for her posing and faceplates. I really tried to keep her. I LOVE her body scuplt and her faces are beautiful.... but she just won't stand for me. It's hit or miss - sometimes she will, sometimes she won't, and I've never had so much trouble photographing any doll (even my Supia Roda, with her weird 'uneven' legs).

Contrary to my keep/buy record, I really, really loathe selling dolls. My friend has had her two dolls ever since I introduced her to the hobby back in highschool. But me - I've had around 10+, now including the Unoa Zero. I've wondered for the 5 years I've been in the hobby about why I can't seem to bond with any of my dolls.

At least my Shiny Fairy May, Tryphosa, isn't going anywhere. Maybe it's because I see her as a precious gift? But, I had seen my DZ Shoyo in that light, as well as my SDF Ethan head. All were still sold. It's not like I don't want to bond with a doll, it's just that I can't seem to. Even my precious Kurumi left me, because of the thought that 'maybe this just isn't the right time in my life for her'. I do plan on getting her again someday, so it's not a permanent loss.

I'm getting a MNF Shushu again, small bust with #3 hands. I think she'll be turned into a Multihead, with a Miyu and maybe one other head or a modded head or something, to counteract the 'one look' syndrome ('I don't really see an 'expression' on her face. It's all just one look'... that thought has also led to the selling of dolls). I'll also be buying a TON of accessories, wigs, clothing and shoes for both Tryphosa and the Shushu. I've never had a lot of things for my dolls, preferring to make most instead, but perhaps my lack of leisure time (when employed) and lack of fabric experimentation funds just dampen my enthusiasm for free form sewing fun. Maybe the ability to fully style both will help me to get along with them better.

Maybe it's just because I can't justify spending so much on myself. Maybe it's just that I would prefer to spend the money on more 'practical' things, but I can't ever shake my beloved doll hobby. Maybe it's that I haven't found the 'right' doll for me. The Shushu, if she were in 60cm size with all available A-line options, would fulfill all of my dreams. Maybe 'my' doll hasn't been made yet? I have no idea.

I'm so tired of selling dolls. I really hate saying goodbye to them, especially since the reasons I bought them haven't changed. And it may not seem like it, but they're all special to me.

Sorry for the text-heavy, ranty post. It's just been on my mind lately. Has anyone else here had bonding issues with *every* doll they've bought? Have you known someone like this? Did you think that they should just settle with a doll and get it over with? Did you get frustrated with them? Did they seem to be upset over it, or did they seem to be okay with selling a lot?

Even if you just have a random thought on the issue, I'd love to see your opinion. :3